Eyes on Me and You

We watch each other, watch ourselves

My twitter account name is @Eyesonmeandyou. This handle or identifying badge, is an indicator of belief, a foundational posit, meaning I believe we are being watched, constantly. We watch each other, we watch ourselves, created beings watch us, and the Creator forever and always has His eyes, on me, and you. Be alarmed, because what you are doing, or not doing, meets with much disapproval or approval, depending of course, on how you engage your time and energy? 

You have perhaps heard the term, lie of omission? This is an unspoken lie or in the more affirmative sense, a truth that is not uttered. Allow me to share a for instance example with you:

We are engaged in conversation and I can see that you are somehow displeased. I have several options, in this moment of comprehension

My options

Option 1: I can make merry and pretend I have not seen the darkness flit across your countenance and by doing this, ignore what I know may be hard feelings

Option 2: I can cut our conversation short, and say I must go, perhaps we can have coffee some time this week? and then, never make the effort to contact you

Option 3: I can address what may be an issue between us, and ask point blank, Is something the matter; is there something amiss? By doing this I open an opportunity for both of us to clear the air, to come clean, so that the possibility of intimacy can again be considered, and practiced in relating to one another

Now it is your turn. We are engaged in conversation and something is bothering you, something that has been on your mind. While I speak, you cannot take your mind off of the thing, the bother, the pesky item that has taken up residence between us. You have several options while I am directly in front of you.

Your options

Option 1: You smile politely, nodding your head and silently cursing me for what I have said and done, thereby relegating me to the darkened corners of your mind

Option 2: You glaze over with your eyes unfocused, and at the first opportune moment, look at your watch as a gesture of suggestion, that you must be elsewhere very soon, thereby dismissing me

Option 3: You seize this moment, perhaps even interrupting me to tell me the truth, whatever that may be, thereby opening the door to the possibility of rectifying the situation and healing a wound in the relationship

Perhaps you can think of other options but for simplicities sake, let us get to the point I am driving at, which is this: the option you choose is a direct link to your sentiments about the person in front of you. For brutal clarity, lets pretend we both know what is happening when relationship goes sideways. With each selected option, the behind the scenes mind and feeling events. can look something like this:

A score out of 3 depending on the option we choose

Option 1: Ignore and pretend. When this option is selected, it is evident that the person in front of us is not valued, and we would rather not waste our time addressing what presents as perhaps, a problem between us. They score 0/3 on our importance scale. 

Option 2: Run away with an excuse. When this option is chosen, it is a display of our cowardice. and lack of character strength. Oops, sorry dear reader, I tricked you here... this one is about how we handle ourselves when relating to others. We score a 0/3 on a behavioural scale when we decide that reconciling with another is too much effort and we would rather not.

Option 3: Speaking up, asking and listening. This option, when taken, is a statement about valuing the person in front of us. This is about ensuring that nothing comes between us, and the person we profess to care about. When we notice that there is a gap between us and another, it takes a certain amount of bravery to ask reconciling questions, or to make statements that let another know that we are displeased with them in some way. When this option is taken, we score a 3/3 on approach. and willingness to take a risk to make things better or perhaps, get rejected and have Options 1 & 2 come at us instead 

A bold statement

Now I will be bold and make a statement. The eyes that are on you, and me, and there are many millions of them, they watch to see what we will say, what we will do, what we will not say, what we will not do. They are watching for our choices, our lies of omission, and here is the scary part, they watch for our sins of omission, the things we ought to say and do that we choose not to. These sins convict us and there is nowhere to hide from ourselves. It is an impossibility to hide from the truth, because we bump up against it constantly, and it will never leave us alone, no matter how politely we present, no matter what time our watch says it is.

Our only viable relationship option dear reader, is to take a superhero stance, hands on hips, and boldly ask and answer the questions that otherwise become lies of omission and sins of omission, widening the gaps between us until they are impasses and great chasms. 

In other words, honesty is the best possible people policy, and I am pretty confident, dear reader, that you have heard and read that, before?!

As always, it is up to us to love one another, choose kindness and offer grace. and this one thing, an opening to others, an entrance point to our hearts. We must stop lying and start loving. Love is always, honest.