U Can't Touch This

Then they sought to take him: but no man laid hands on him, because his hour was not come (John 7:30)

The plot has Him centred for assassination
While reading my Bible this morning I was vastly entertained. An old Saturday Night Live skit, Coffee Talk, flooded my memory along with the song U Can't Touch This, by MC Hammer. 

Thickener to the plot

Jesus is in the throngs of an elbow to elbow crowd. Thousands of people have flooded Jerusalem for the feast of Tabernacles. Jesus takes the rabbi position in the temple courts, and He is saying things that people don't really like: in fact, what He says acts as thickener to the plot, that has Him centred for assassination. 

With slit eyes and barely concealed snarls, there is grumbling as He speaks, and then the murderous ones in the crowd can't take it anymore, and they try to grab Him, to take Him. Ha!

Flowing robes but still, no grip?
... but no man laid hands on him. Let us picture the fashions of Jesus' day, flowing robes. Now imagine people looking up at Him, and feeling insulted, with His bold statements about who He is, and who they are not. Imagine the blood rising to their faces in indignation, and their hands clenching and unclenching, readying themselves to take hold of Him, and tear Him limb from limb in their rage. He keeps talking, and the more He speaks, the more they feel the urge to lunge and grab Him:

Lets not pretend, you know, Who I AM

Then cried Jesus in the temple as he taught, saying, Ye both know me, and ye know whence I am: and I am not come of myself, but he that sent me is true, whom ye know not. But I know him: for I am from him, and he hath sent me (John 7:28-29) 

Jesus isn't just some guy from Galilee, tethered in time and space to an earthy location, He is God, sent by God. Who wants to hear this, when in the heart of every man is a desire to be his own god, his own master? The crowds do not like this one tiny bit, but the Good News, is that some heard Him speak, and liked what He had to say, because they had been waiting for Messiah 

And many of the people believed on him, and said, When Christ cometh, will he do more miracles than these which this man hath done? (John 7:31)

God is funny too: where do you think you got your sense of humour?

Could not seize and squeeze
Let us go back to why I started writing this piece in the first place! Jesus was wearing a flowing robe and when the crowd got miffed, they couldn't get a grip! Jesus was like butter to them, they could not seize and squeeze. 

Forgive me Lord, for what might seem irreverent, but I see Jesus dancing on the temple court steps and saying "U can't touch this, da na na na, na na, na na. Can't touch this." I am pretty sure God is super funny. Listen to the song I mention here... MC Hammer actually praises God in the song!

Oh Jesus, you are the best. You are like butter, delicious!