The Marshmallow Test

One child, one marshmallow, what will they do together?

Deny themselves

There is a famous experiment, the Stanford marshmallow experiment, that was conducted with children about forty years ago that tested for what is known as delayed gratification. Information about this experiment is readily available on the internet. If you choose to look this up, you will see how the very young manage to deny themselves the delight of eating a tasty treat that is all but impossible to ignore, while asked to sit for a seemingly endless amount of time with the promise of being given a second marshmallow, if they manage to not eat the first one while the adult is out of the room.

Wondering about my own delaying of gratification

This experiment made me wonder, about me. I think I could resist a marshmallow but there are other things that may not be so easily bypassed - how about you, dear reader? My experience has been that I do and don't delay gratification on many fronts, depending on my emotional state. What the studies have shown is that the most successful people are able to temporarily deny themselves, when they know that there will be a bigger payoff down the road by doing so. For example: Start weight training and eating healthfully today and maintain this plan for three months, and you will have a noticeable wow-you-are-looking-good body shape change at the three month benchmark. This may require denial of fast food, desert, pop, alcohol to reap the rewards incrementally along the way. The point is the reward is worth the delay in instant tastebud gratification, and it is also worth the waiting for results, from all the conscientious hard work put into planning and executing a fitness regime. There is a swapping out something ok now for something fantastic, if you and I are willing to hold off from eating that one marshmallow ...

Delayed gratification overrated

Should I wait?

I have to say, delayed gratification is over rated when there is temptation right in front of us, isn't it, dear reader? We can convince ourselves of just about anything in the moment of desire, of wanting, of tasting the longing and knowing that it can be sated immediately without the torture of waiting. How many times have you swapped out what could have been for what was right in front of you, only to see that if you had controlled your impulses, given yourself time and space to weigh out the outcomes, you would have come away with far more than you could have imagined?

I think of the rich young man in The Bible, the one that asked Jesus: 

Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? (Matthew 19:16). The man did not like the answer he got Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give it to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me (Matthew 19:21). This young fellow was a one marshmallow kind of guy But when the young man heard this saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions (Matthew 19:22)

He didn't swap out what he had, for what he could have had, and at this point dear reader, I think we can all relate on some level? I mean, I have wanted washboard abs and chosen handfuls of M&M's instead, on many occasions!

Skill of waiting
Some questions and poignant points:

• Are you willing to cultivate the character required to be a two marshmallow kind of guy or gal? 
• Are you willing to see that sacrifice is required for the big, heavenly stuff to be yours, with a little delay in your gratification? 
• Can you see past now to the future, and what can be, by adding the skill of waiting to your repertoire?
• Successful people have this great ability to hold off, and this is a leasable, attainable talent. Small children demonstrate that delaying gratification is possible when they focus on the reward, rather than the temptation in front of them

You can too, dear reader. Test yourself: try holding off and waiting. Two marshmallows are apparently much better than one. Heavenly possibilities are within your grasp. 

You are getting called up, how will you respond?