Kitten Kindness

Kitten kindness with majesty 

When you were a child
Do you remember when you were a child? The you that was? I do. I was dogmatic and rigid, opinionated and stubborn. I liked to discuss and verbally navigate and convince others of the "right' way which often times, was somehow really, just my way? Forgive me dear reader, there is a joke, if it's not one thing, it's the mother... I learned these attempts at people trickery from you guessed it, my mom.

Purr to claws out
I started drinking coffee at the age of four (not full mugs, that would have been child abuse!) and that may be when my sleeplessness began too, along with my wondering about our existence, the universe and what "it" all means? My parents drank coffee and smoked cigarettes in the house; it was fashionable to do both. 

Navigating

My dad, he was an interesting cat. Playful and full of fun until something irritated him, and then his claws came out. He could swipe and cut with a glare, a terse word of verbalized disgust, a snarl and the cold shoulder treatment, that would last for days of silent disregard. My mom did her best navigating this man of hers, who could call out I love you to each of us individually from the front room and alternatively, ignore us when we came near. He had his own wounds: he suffered in his memories. He was twelve when he last saw his own mother and siblings, torn from them during war, stolen from at a young age.

To love means...
To understand someone is to know what they have seen, heard, experienced. To love them means forgiving their shortcomings, and seeing them in their own brilliant God glow light. I love my dad and as an adult, I know who he was and is to me. A man who did his very best to keep his pain to himself, but it spilled out like hot lava on others, the ones he lived with: my mom sisters and I, had to find pathways around the heat. Coming too close meant getting burned, staying away to wait for the cooling meant distance between us and in turn, meant loss of relationship... 

My mom did a lot of circumventing to have things her way. Emotional, psychological survival, requires steadfastness, a belief that our way is the right way in order to maintain our sense of self, our self-possession, no matter what anyone else thinks, says, and or does, to point out our wrongness. She had to manipulate because it was the only way around a loving decent man, that was gentle and kitten sweet and conversely, tyrannically a deadly lion.

The reason for sharing
Why do I share this dear reader? I must, I simply must. Because I have a son and I have people in my life, and I must of necessity, hold the truth in my heart and mind with a life grip, so that I do not manipulate people; so that they do not feel the need to navigate around me. 

I don't want to burn or freeze anyone out, and I never want to manipulate another for self preservation sake. I want the truth to be told and felt and seen in me, and around me: and I want this, and only this from the people in my life. That means I must be honest at all times. 

I never want to be an imposter, poser, fraud, and I ask you:

• Are you willing to do the hard work? 
• Are you willing to live and love truth?

It is easy to see the flaws in others, to point out how they have made mistakes, or could have done things better, or differently. It is much harder when we take a look at ourselves, and say ah yes, there it is, the very same thing is in me, and I don't like it there, it must go. 

And it must go dear one, if we are to be close, safe, intimate, in love

A work in progress
I have not cornered the market on truth; I am learning its purity as I go, with the choices I make. I am a work in progress, and part of the work is seeing my people in action as they too struggle, learn and grow, to be more manly, more womanly, more like our Good God. 

Jesus could not tell a lie and dear one, we mustn't either, not to our selves, and not to our others.

I leave you now with a request: 

Commit to honesty in kitten kindness today. Listen for and speak the truth and forgive, forgive, forgive

Love Conquers All

Love conquers all 

You have heard the expression, love conquers all, am I right? Have you ever considered Love to be a name dear reader, one of God's names? 

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love (1 John 4:8) 

God is love, I am Linda, you are?

Follow with me
One of my favourite pet names for people is lovie. To call someone this expresses endearment, a feeling of love for the other. Follow with me to John 3:16 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life

Now, we have Love, conquering all, through the Son:

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God (John 3:17-18)

Look at love and its action plan above:

Love gives
Love sends
Love saves
Love retrieves those that believe, from condemnation
Love promises everlasting life 

In short, Love has a plan to restore us to Himself

By giving us His Son, and sending Him into the world, He offered salvation, retrieving us from condemnation with a promise of life eternal for those who believe in the name of His Son, Jesus. 

Do you see this dear one, God as love in action? I leave you now with this: Jesus was not only sent, He accepted the mission. As God, He too, is Love... in action

You are Gods lovie, soak that in today, won't you? 

Emotional Vagrant-Going Nowhere

Being swept up
I have met some emotional vagrants over the years, and been swept up in their whirlwinds. You know the type: they wander with words, aimlessly making sounds that seem to make sense but take you, and them, nowhere. I hate going to nowhere dear reader, it makes me crazy! Here is the thing with whirlwinds, otherwise known as dust devil or tornado: when you get caught up in one, you don't realize you are in there, until you have been spit back out! 

The whirlwind blows into town

Get out of Dodge

Just like an emotional vagabond, the whirlwind blows into town, stirs up the dust and dirt, swipes at the corners and roofs of buildings and whirs its way back out, leaving behind a trail of strange destruction for others to wonder at, and clean up. While relatively harmless, these dervishes are hard to ignore, especially in the aftermath.

How to recognize an emotional vagrant
Using our metaphor, let's identify the signs, and your symptoms, of being in the midst of a whirlwind, so that we go somewhere together and perhaps, when you see one coming, you can get out of Dodge.

Signs and your symptoms of exposure:

1. The person talks a lot
2. You don't know what they are talking about
3. They are repetitive and circle back to a theme
4. You don't know what they are talking about (yes, I know, this was number 2... get used to this one).
5. They appear to be building a case and want your approval
6. They have little interest in you, and a whole lot of details they can't seem to help sharing about themselves; they mention people you have never met before as though you already know them
7. You are unsure where they are going with their stories, and feel you have to work hard to understand
8. You want to run away but feel trapped
9. They ask you about you, but after you speak, they go right back to them
10. You get the feeling that they have said all of this before, in the exact same way, many times
11. You realize your life is ebbing away, and you may shrivel up and die on the spot, if you stay much longer
12. They have a glazed over look in their eyes when you speak, as though what you are saying does not compute
13. Their stories are devoid of personality and character: there is no life lesson, no edification, nothing to learn or grow from. Just a whole bunch of words strung together in endless sentences that numb the mind and shut down the listener
14. You are an audience
15. When you finally get away, you promise yourself, never again...

Yikes
While we are all guilty of being self absorbed from time to time, it must not be a perpetual state, it must not take over who we are and have us disregarding others. I don't ever want to be a dust devil dear reader: yikes, the thought horrifies me! 

Ending now, I am stopping this topic, gotta go, see you later... have a good day... ciao for now. 

You still there? Don't get sucked in dear one, run while you still have your wits about you! 

Stop Hey

Note: Originally published February 13th, 2018

I'm happy I'm sad I'm mad I'm laughing I'm crying I'm bubbling up with joy I'm cast down in the corner of my mind in despair... I am alive. So alive that I can't wait to feel more and live more.

For What It Is Worth
A musical memory flooded my heart, and swept me away this morning in a gentle wave of what I know is happening to me, what I feel is becoming in me. Love is a magnificent gift, and love is unity. I embrace it as though for the first time today, with such powerful freedom, that all attachment to striving or accomplishing or endearing myself to others, is a quickly fading and disappearing old set of clothes. I am becoming new. Love is a free flowing without-demands-attached lover, if that makes any sense to you dear reader?

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound, everybody look what's going down

I was born in 1967. As it turns out, the song For What It Is Worth by Buffalo Springfield, is dated 1967. The song is a call to awareness, a melodic urging to stop and pay attention to what is really going on. 

And I am. I am paying attention to the ever presence of threat, to our freedom of loving expression. The external voice that has us paranoid, has us protecting ourselves from one another: has us set up to believe that we are enemies, to each other. We are not and I will not be, anyones enemy:

But the wisdom that is from heaven above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy (James 3:17)

Another song, by John Paul Young, comes to mind:

Love is in the air, in the whisper of the tree
Love is in the air in the thunder of the sea
And I don't know if I'm just dreaming
Don't know if I feel safe
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when you call my name

We are called to love dear one, to the wisdom of pure hearted peace-filled loving! If we stop, hey, and listen for what's that sound, we can actually hear love calling us by name: call me a romantic fool and perhaps I am. I am falling in love today with humanity, all of you, in your godly image

I like this feeling

Addendum: It is December 30th, 2021. I see from this piece of writing, how God is calling us to love, and it is our turn, in this generation. I clearly sensed what was in the global atmosphere, at the time of this writing, without a hint of what was to come just over a year later, in March of 2019. 

Who, except for those that plotted, planned, and co-ordinated a global attack on citizenry, could have anticipated, without insider knowledge, what we have lived for the past, almost two years?

The discerning can detect good and evil, because the Holy Spirit informs us:

Consider what I say; and the Lord give thee understanding in all things (2 Timothy 2:7)

To choose love, is to align with God Almighty: love is Truth and again, this:

But the wisdom that is from heaven above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy (James 3:17)

 

The Marshmallow Test

One child, one marshmallow, what will they do together?

Deny themselves

There is a famous experiment, the Stanford marshmallow experiment, that was conducted with children about forty years ago that tested for what is known as delayed gratification. Information about this experiment is readily available on the internet. If you choose to look this up, you will see how the very young manage to deny themselves the delight of eating a tasty treat that is all but impossible to ignore, while asked to sit for a seemingly endless amount of time with the promise of being given a second marshmallow, if they manage to not eat the first one while the adult is out of the room.

Wondering about my own delaying of gratification

This experiment made me wonder, about me. I think I could resist a marshmallow but there are other things that may not be so easily bypassed - how about you, dear reader? My experience has been that I do and don't delay gratification on many fronts, depending on my emotional state. What the studies have shown is that the most successful people are able to temporarily deny themselves, when they know that there will be a bigger payoff down the road by doing so. For example: Start weight training and eating healthfully today and maintain this plan for three months, and you will have a noticeable wow-you-are-looking-good body shape change at the three month benchmark. This may require denial of fast food, desert, pop, alcohol to reap the rewards incrementally along the way. The point is the reward is worth the delay in instant tastebud gratification, and it is also worth the waiting for results, from all the conscientious hard work put into planning and executing a fitness regime. There is a swapping out something ok now for something fantastic, if you and I are willing to hold off from eating that one marshmallow ...

Delayed gratification overrated

Should I wait?

I have to say, delayed gratification is over rated when there is temptation right in front of us, isn't it, dear reader? We can convince ourselves of just about anything in the moment of desire, of wanting, of tasting the longing and knowing that it can be sated immediately without the torture of waiting. How many times have you swapped out what could have been for what was right in front of you, only to see that if you had controlled your impulses, given yourself time and space to weigh out the outcomes, you would have come away with far more than you could have imagined?

I think of the rich young man in The Bible, the one that asked Jesus: 

Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? (Matthew 19:16). The man did not like the answer he got Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give it to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me (Matthew 19:21). This young fellow was a one marshmallow kind of guy But when the young man heard this saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions (Matthew 19:22)

He didn't swap out what he had, for what he could have had, and at this point dear reader, I think we can all relate on some level? I mean, I have wanted washboard abs and chosen handfuls of M&M's instead, on many occasions!

Skill of waiting
Some questions and poignant points:

• Are you willing to cultivate the character required to be a two marshmallow kind of guy or gal? 
• Are you willing to see that sacrifice is required for the big, heavenly stuff to be yours, with a little delay in your gratification? 
• Can you see past now to the future, and what can be, by adding the skill of waiting to your repertoire?
• Successful people have this great ability to hold off, and this is a leasable, attainable talent. Small children demonstrate that delaying gratification is possible when they focus on the reward, rather than the temptation in front of them

You can too, dear reader. Test yourself: try holding off and waiting. Two marshmallows are apparently much better than one. Heavenly possibilities are within your grasp. 

You are getting called up, how will you respond?

A Dart At Your Heart

So here it is, another round of truth telling

Let's just say you don't believe in hell, or heaven for that matter. This becomes a curiosity, a point of study for me in sociological terms. I mean, you are a human living amongst other humans, and when you look all around you, you can see that there are some vile crimes being committed continually. Criminals are routinely sent to prison for their egregious actions, sentenced sometimes for life or in some places in the world, sentenced to death. 

You aren't a criminal, are you dear reader? You haven't say, killed anyone lately or ever, am I right? And when was the last time you raped and pillaged? Never you say? Ok good, no jail time for you... except... did you happen to drink and drive recently, cheat on your taxes or perhaps your spouse, without being "caught"? This is bad but not nearly as bad as murder or assault... right?

You are being baited
I am laying down bait, attempting to entrap you here and now with an apologetic, so if you can't stand a dart being aimed at your conscience, you can dodge this dear one. Move along and we will pretend this never happened.

Consequences for actions
Jail is for criminals and I for one am grateful, when justice is served, and violent men and women are removed from the population for corporate good and safety. I am grateful to the justice fighters, those who risk their lives to guard and protect the vulnerable, this means you and me. And isn't it so, that with laws in place, when someone breaks the law, their are consequences for actions, that there is a price to pay, regardless of whether or not the violator wants to pay? 

You have made mistakes, I don't have to explain consequences to you, do I dear reader? By virtual of being human, we have all made them, and paid for them in one way or another. No one is, as they say, perfect or above reproach. 

Paying the price
Which brings me to my argument, about hell and heaven, about eternity really. This is another point of divergence for you and I, because you may not believe in eternity either. 

Do we part ways here, because we disagree, that there is a life after this flesh and blood one we live? If you are still here, hear me out. Our laws are natural. They make sense. They are orderly. When justice is not served, it is an outrage to our spirit:

And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground (Genesis 4:10) 

God is just

If we as humans want justice, what do you think God wants? Can you trick yourself into believing that you will not have to pay, will not be made to pay, whether you like it or not, dear reader? Hell, jail, they are one and the same because they represent a life gone bad, gone wrong. If you believe in one, is it a stretch to believe in the other? Know this to be true, God is just.

I will not tell you about saving grace, not today. I will point and throw a dart at your heart, held by this human hand. You are a sinner and you will go to hell if you do not repent, because agree or not, like it or not, I reiterate, God is just. 

Ultimately, it does not matter what I write, what you read: what matters is that He decides what your fate will be, and you either help or hurt your case. His is the last dart to throw and it determines where you go, after this, your one and only life. 

Jail is a removal of freedom with a chance at a change of heart. Hell is forever with no chance of escape. Believe, don't believe, it is your choice but the consequences, more than likely, will not be 

We arrive once again, at choice: yours 

What's New

Curiosity or rhetoric?
A friend of mine sent me an inquiry: 

When was the last time you did something for the first time? 

It is a version of the conversation starter, what's new? I have never liked this question, because it makes me want to say to the person, really, that's your opening line? It is a form of stopping, rather than starting a conversation, do you agree? It is a way of putting another on the spot to come up with something significant, or not? I mean, does the person asking really want to know, what is new, or are they just using the question as a polite superficiality?

Well, regardless, I decided to answer this possibly, rhetorical question! Here is my response:

I published a book. I launched said book. I went on Instagram after video taping myself, giving whomever cares to view the video, a snapshot of my life. I am audio recording my book. I am tracking all of my working and play hours. I am reaching for the stars, and believing that inside of me, is a God given greatness: while this is not a new believe, I am choosing daily to reinforce it, to claim purpose, and to profess it as something to grab hold of by each and every one of us!

A thousand firsts
What is new? What is new for me? Everything is new. This year has been a thousand firsts, a million bursts of understanding and crazy mind blowing soul shattering epiphanies dear reader. Kill me quickly, and now, if this stops being true for me. Take me down, the day I say that I have discovered... nothing. I dare not live a life of redundancy, for fear of death by boredom. I will not say another day is done, without asking myself how I lived, loved, and served? 

How can I steal air? It is a waste of breath to live and not give, to get and not share, to exist and not learn and grow! I want firsts for the rest of my lifetime dear one, even painful firsts that force me to feel and test my faith. The firsts that have me heartbroken and weeping, are the ones that have me dig deep, and ask myself who I really am, and to whom do I belong?

Your turn 

Your today is here, it is now. Firsts are for everyone. Firsts start in your head and heart and then, it is up to you to take faithful action steps. 

Take one thought, one heartbeat, one step at a time, and live like you have never lived before, so that the next time someone asks you whats new, you have an astounding answer, not for them, for YOU to hear!