Monday, May 18, 2015

If I knew than...

If I knew than what I know now I'd...finish the sentence. Attached to this sentiment is a it's too late feeling and perhaps, I could have had more, done more, said more string of lost forever opportunities. Ahhh, regret, it is a lovely self indulgence, a rude selfish moot point useless never ending spaghetti bowl of twists and turns, don't ya think? At 48, I know I'm not too late for anything, in fact, I'm right on time for something, something big. I'm not sure what the something big is I have to admit and at the same time, I know my life has been part battleground, part playground, part training ground for what is about to be, the something big thing I sense is mine to live out loud and into. The younger me, it wanted to go solo, call the shots, look ahead and make plans, than contingency plans, you know, play it all out in my minds eye before anything ever took place in this cool existence we share. The 48 year old version of me, and I grin as I write this, this me has a purpose, work to do, people to meet and inspire and be inspired by and as I see it, the Master has the blueprint, He is in charge of the go here, go there parts and as I do His bidding, as I follow Spirit, He fills in the blanks, including what message He wants delivered. I get to wait, anticipate, eyes wide open and breathe almost held in the wondering of what's next, what's next God? Do I sound content? I am, I am content, and I have joy, it is the mark of a Christ follower. The Way, The Truth, The Life, I follow Him that goes before me and what I know now, is that I never have to trail blaze alone, He is my forever faithful Guide. 

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