I AM

I AM, these words were spoken to Moses by God when Moses asked the question, what shall I call you? There is a song I love with the lyrics: I am, holding on to you, I am, holding on to you, in the middle of the storm, I am holding on to you. Sweet Jesus, I thought I was holding on to God in the middle of the storm and I just realized it's the other way around, The Great I AM is holding on to little itty bitty me. Like drift wood tossed about on rough seas, somehow God gently places me back on terra firma, on the shore were I can soak up the sun, dry off and stand again on wobbly sea legs with God girding me up. Cling as I might, this is an illusion, a feeling that by my strength, my leaning into Him, that somehow I have a say in whether I stand, walk, run. Like a baby who cries and a breast or bottle magically appear to satisfy hunger, I have been deluding myself, and I laugh at the egoism of seemingly obvious self determinism. But for the Grace of God go I, this has never been more clear to me. I am reminded of a pretty iridescent winged bug I rescued from my pool a couple of summers ago. He was waterlogged and after I scooped him out of his almost watery grave, I gently placed him pool side and blew on him and witnessed his revival. To my delight, he began his own drying process, wiping himself clear of the droplets that weighed heavily on his wings. He looked like he was proudly preening, as though his near drowning had never been and than when the time was just right, he flew off into the sunset...or something like that, without a glance my way, without a thank you for saving my life, without any awareness that there was anyone to thank. The Great I AM, He has rescued me from so much and I am grateful, not only for the saving, for the awareness that He is holding on and will never let go in His faithfulness to little itty bitty me. He is my strength, my calm in the storm, my reason for being. I am because He first IS...go figure that one out!