Relationship Repellant

There is a modern day expression that I find less than appealing when I hear it: It is what it is...

You must purposefully decide
On the surface, it would appear that this is a reality check way of saying, if I can't change it, I must accept it. While this may be true about grass being green and the rain falling when you plan on going to the beach, I find it to be an appalling form of checking out of responsibility and accountability when applied to human choices, behaviours, attitudes, mindsets, and the real life results that manifest from purported choices, behaviours, attitudes and mindsets. While you and I can do nothing about the grass or the rain, we certainly can be held to account for our behaviour, and the intentions that underlie our actions. We are, after all, more than capable as human beings to think, process, choose, and even predict plausible and probable outcomes when we purposely decide what we will think, then say, and then do.

Go to sleep

Talk to the hand, not my heart

Now, let us get crystal clear. You may be drugged dear reader! I am dead serious... I mean you are dead, seriously. You may be in a perpetual fugue state of unconsciousness, numbed by your own lack of accountability. You may be living, it is what it is, on the inside. You may also believe and live into the philosophy of I am who I am and I am never going to change, not for anyone; you remain the same in a homeostatic state of status quo. This is clearly a shame, for you and for everyone that lives within your gravitational pull. Your mode of being becomes relationship repellant because if you are what you are, you is what you is, while you stay the same and never move from your tiny spot on the map, everyone who is growing, learning, changing, advancing, will pass you by... this is a sad state, at first for the ones moving ahead and leaving you behind... but it becomes a perpetual purgatory for you, if you refuse to grasp the concept of true love in relationship. And here is the concept: You've got to give a little to get a lot. You've got to flex and meld and mold and shape yourself into something alive, awake, aware... you and I, we are what we are until God gets a hold of us and then, and only then, can we become someone spectacular to behold.

Wicked hearted
God asks for our participation in becoming more like him by stirring in us a desire to reach for heavenly heights by feeling, thinking, processing, searching, researching, asking, finding, course correcting, choosing, to be like Jesus. You have, heard of Jesus, right? That guy/god that never sinned, the one that lived perfectly as an example for wicked hearted people like you, and me? You read that correctly, you have a wicked heart. Look at yourself... what part of your life do you have bragging rights to? Isn't it time you woke up from your slumber and decide that today is the day you no longer accept your own sorry story of status quo?

Seeds sown in our yesterdays
Being accountable and responsible in relationship is all that matters in life. Here is our only reality-we all must pay the piper. Our intentions invariably show up in our words and actions and each day, we are rewarded for the seeds we have sown in our yesterdays... the choices are always ours, awake or asleep, alive or dead, heaven or hell.

It is what it is... or is it?

Fearlessness

There is no fear in love: but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth not is made perfect in love (1 John 4:18)

Fear and love are incompatible. Fear is torment-think of a bully harassing you endlessly. Love is perfect-think of love grabbing a hold of that bully by the scruff of the neck and tossing it out the door, on your behalf!

Fearless in Christ Tattoo
My son has a tattoo on his shoulder. It is Jesus' crowned with thorns head, hanging low, eyes closed. The portrait is his final It is finished statement of sacrificial love for an undeserving world of sinners, an unpopular term, since no one wants to admit to their own very dark and dastardly ways. There is an inscription in Hebrew under Jesus' head that reads Fearless in Christ. And my son is. This is what he sent me this morning, as a reminder of who he has become:

He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved (Psalm 62:6)

Contentment

Sacrifice made beautiful

This verse gives me a sense of the purest contentment dear reader. I am a mom and I love my manchild like crazy! When he was a little boy, excited to run to class when the school bell rang, I had to accept the facts: I am not going to be with him every minute of the day, keeping him safe and warm, dry and comfortable. I am not going to be able to defend him against the pain of loss, disappointment, hurt or even physical injury: in fact, he injured himself many a time under my watch! As parent, it is my job to watch and encourage him to learn and grow, get stronger from life lessons as an accountable young man and sometimes, watch him walk away... because he is not mine, he belongs to another.

Not moved
What I have learned is that God loves my son far more than I ever can or will, and thats a whole lot of love. What I have learned is that he is in far more capable hands when I entrust him to God. What I know, is that my son knows, from whence  he hails, and he knows that in this life, God is his rock, salvation, and defence: he is committed to not be moved from this foundational faith in God, on which he firmly stands.

Now, let us turn our eyes to you dear one:

• Is fear your tormentor?
• Is it wreaking havoc in your life? 
• Are you tired of feeling afraid? 
• Lastly, are you willing to give up this vestige, this old worn out coat of lies, and trust in love? 

The two, love and fear, which is torment, are incompatible

Why not try love, dear one? Love casts out all fear... God is love, to know him is to be made, perfect

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him (1 John 4:16).

Someone

 Never feel alone

Do you know someone who is this to you, dear reader?

A salve, a balm, a hand that holds, a voice that soothes… 

Is someone this to you, dear one?

A reminder, a call to greatness, a gentle push in the right direction...

How about?

A call to arms, an inspiration, a revelation...

Lastly, is there someone who?

Lights the path, salts your soul, undeniably, irrevocably, faithfully, stands sentinel, never leaving your side...

The me that is supposed to be

I know Someone like this, and because I know Him, He has placed many someones just like Him, in my life. 

     

     When I am hurt, they are a salve and balm, healing agents to my wounded brokenness. They hold my hand and speak soothingly, comforting me when I need a kind touch and sweet words.

     When I need to recall who I am and why I am here, they remind me, calling me to my greatness, the me that is supposed to be. With a gentle push, I again travel in the right direction.

     When it is time to fight the good fight, I am called to arms, to equipping. Inspired words of revealed truth have me clothing myself: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit. I become battle ready.

Lastly dear one, lastly... we need light, don't we, to see the path we are on? We need salt too, so that we do not lose our strength, or our flavour for life? And God knows, we, you and I, need this more than ever, Someone to stand sentinel, guarding us, lovingly by our side, forever and always, come what may? 

Someone watching, loving, waiting

I know Someone just like this, and you can too. I know many someones just like this, and you can too. We are never alone, even when we choose to be. There is always Someone watching, loving, waiting for you and for me, to see and accept their glorious gift of grace. 

Jesus is Someone, the Someone. You can know Him, like I do, and never feel alone again. 

     

HIStory

I AM

HIStory
In Christian circles, the word history is used thusly: HIStory. Speaking plainly, history is a reference to Gods story

Pick this idea up, here and now
When I think of Jesus' words, that he is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last (Revelation 22:13), I see that God, also known as The Author of Life You killed the author of life, but God raised him from the dead. We are witnesses of this (Acts 3:15), created words that quite charmingly, and cleverly, point to Him in every way imaginable. Pick this idea up, here and now: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1)

It is impossible for you to not understand me
This, all of this, points us to a mind boggling revelatory concept... God is in the mix, in our midst, in the fray, in our day, in our genes, in our thoughts, in our essence, in our... everything. I speak to you as though you might very well understand what I am going on about. I am presuming and assuming, supposing and suggesting, that it is impossible for you to not understand me: not just my words, my meaning. Why oh why would God be called the Word, the Author of life, the First and Last unless of course, He has some kind of master plan, some coded come find me, and yet I'm not hiding, mysterious ways that only the hungry and thirsty for Him, discover? 

There is a blueprint dear reader, it is The Bible. All of the answers are in there, outside of you and me, waiting for us to trip upon the truth in astounding ways.

This is the covenant I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and in their minds will I write them (Hebrews 10:16).

Embarrassing inordinate self-absorption 
Right: his laws are put in our hearts, written on our minds. So here is the reason for this writing, in case you were wondering? I am all too human. I spend an embarrassing, inordinate amount of time thinking about myself. I can get preoccupied pretty easily with my here-and-now daily reality, and this is when my emotions take me for a rollercoaster ride. And then I remember to honour God, with my thoughts, with my attention, with my questions: how would you like me to serve you today Father? How can I make you proud this minute, Daddy? This is when the sun shines brightly in on me, heating my skin and warming my heart. 

You see dear reader, it is all about Him, loving us, knowing us, wanting us to be love in His world, making HIStory something worthy of who He is. If God loves you and I this much, it means it is about you, about me, about that guy or girl sitting across from you in the bus, in the coffee shop, or idling in rush hour traffic in the car next to you.

Let us make HIStory, together
HIStory, is about Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was all about us. Think on this a moment. God is love (1 John 4:8). Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). When you and I remain in love, remain in God If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you (John 15:7) we can never, ever fail!

Now, I have a proposal for you. Let us make history together. Let us make our lives about Him, the one and only true God of the universe. Let us make HIStory our story, today, shall we?

Are you in?

Bonfires and Water Pistols

Bonfires 
I have this amazing image of a blazing bonfire burned into my memory. It is warm and inviting and many gather around it, enjoying the heat, the glow, and the sparks that fly skyward and disappear before they get anywhere near the heavens. Bonfires are hot, and getting too close can singe clothes and exposed hair and or attached flesh.

Water Pistol
Now picture someone coming along with a water pistol in hand. The one holding the pistol has potential power. They could turn the gun on you, and squirt you in the eye. Annoying, but harmless, depending on the fluid. They could turn the gun toward the fire, shooting in an attempt to dampen the wood and extinguish the flames. That would be annoying, for them, because our bonfire would require buckets of water to be turned down... if putting the fire out is the goal, and the fluid is H2O, this method will not do. This same someone could be armed with something quite different, an unexpected liquid in that pistol. Let us suppose they take aim and shoot at our bonfire again, and once the fluid hits the flames, they suddenly leap to fabulous unexpected heights, surprising gawking fire gazers. Ahhh yes, you are thinking correctly dear reader, there is Fire Starter in that tiny, innocent looking gun.

Armed, but dangerous?

1. Shooter number one: armed but not dangerous, kind of a Jester that can be tolerated only for so long. He doesn't appreciate the beauty and majesty of fire; how did he enter onto the scene?

2. Shooter number two: armed but Dangerously Dull, attempting to put out the flames because he can't take the heat; he can't stand the brightness, the glow and light fire casts. This guy snuck into our circle somehow.

3. Shooter number three: armed, almost dangerously, Fire Starter understands the nature of fire, what fire needs to build and become. This guy is in the right place: he will not sacrifice the beauty of the flames and encourages them to continue to burn red hot and brilliantly, lighting up the darkness.

Fire burning brightly
lights the darkness

Burning brightly 
Now, picture you as the flame... burning brightly. Imagine those that surround you, the ones that love your kind of fire. Next, select a shooter. Which one do you prefer? Of course, I am directing you dear one, leading you to Fire Starter. I am playing at metaphors and grinning as I go.

Never to be dampened
Flames and Fire Starters, they are a wonderful, cheery match, aren't they? Don't let anyone put out your flame dear one. Next, there is this: always be a source of heat and light for others. You can start a fire, fuel a fire, but never ever dampen or put one out in another: that, is sacrilege.  

Trade Off

What I tell you in the darkness, that speak ye in the light; and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops (Matthew 10:27)

Well now, this is rather... uncomfortable, isn't it? God isn't asking, he is telling us to take action, to speak. In this two-part verse, we learn that God is speaking to us in the darkness and that He whispers in our ear. Has he spoken to you? Have you heard his whisper? If so, are you speaking in the daylight, are you proclaiming from the housetops?

For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10)

This verse comes from Paul, who is making it plain to his listeners that he speaks what God has asked him to speak. It would have been much easier for him to continue in his humanly glorified position of official Christian Hunter/Killer, than it was for him to proclaim Christ as Saviour. He had it good, dear reader, before he became an apostle, at least, by mans standards. Tradition has it that he was killed for preaching the gospel, by hanging upside down on a cross or a beheading. Paul was compelled, not crazy. He was in the dark when God whispered in his ear: in obedience, Paul became a Proclaimer in broad daylight. 

The competing voice, it shames us into silence 
The competing voice is the one that says, you don't have to repeat what you hear; you don't have to share what you know. Stay off that housetop and keep your "religion" to yourself. You don't want to be seen as a crazy big mouth, do you? pushing your Christian crack on people! What are you anyway, some kind of nut job? Leave people alone, let them believe what is right for them, after all, who made you the smart one? What makes you think you are right and they are wrong: that is arrogant!

Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue: For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God (John 12:42-43)

A matter of conscience

Glorifying God Gives Off Light

 

Proclaiming Christ is not about bravery, it is about conscience. I could not deny Him, not for the life of me, and I mean this in the most literal sense. He laid down his life for me and my question has been: would I do the same for others, for Him? Would I do what Paul famously did: pouring out his life in pure love and devotion for the glory of God, in the name of his Saviour?

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you (John 15:13-14)

Love and loyalty go hand in hand, don't they dear one? When was the last time someone stuck up for you? When was the last time you spoke and acted on behalf of another, selflessly, without the promise of praise or reward? Is Jesus your friend and at this point in the writing, are you a friend to Him?

And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2)

You might lose some friends when you declare Him your number one. You might be considered crazy and weird, one of those Jesus freaks. Shrug, I think the trade off is worth it, don't you? 

Now picture me grinning dear one... The trade off is worth it!

Moral Mind

I had a friend who spoke truth to me and then, sadly, became a liar. While the truth remains, she has not. Our friendship dissolved many years ago, and more recently, she died suddenly.

Clandestine meeting
I am pondering, who the liar really is? Was she the one, or was it me? She was an interesting person, full of life, excitement, stories and drama. It was the drama part that was the undoing of our friendship. I couldn't keep up with her and when she introduced me to her boyfriend, that was the final straw that broke the friendship back. 

She was married with two children. She was also going to couples counselling to fix her husband, but was unwilling to give up her boyfriend at the same time. One day, on my birthday, she introduced me to the man she was seeing, on the side as the saying goes. I still recall the clandestine meeting, and my massive discomfort, following our coffee shop encounter, as I drove away. I knew she set up this meeting so I that I would collude with her illicit activities. She had many reasons for justifying her behaviours, and wanted a close friend to be "in on it" with her.

Morally corrupt story
There were signs along the way of degeneration in her thinking, and corresponding secretive and sinful activities. She had wiley ways of sharing information, that leaned in the direction of justification for her decisions. I recall her attempts to make her husband really wrong. She would enrage him, wanting him to assault her, so that she could have him removed from their home. 

Funny how far she was willing to go to ensure she got her own way. Funny how badly she wanted me to agree with her, and buy into her make believe self-imposed morally corrupt story. 

As the lies accumulated over time, their weight pressed down on me, and contact with her felt like exposure to the worst toxins. I had to question my own integrity, and wonder about how much of our eleven year friendship was based on lies? 

• Was I covering for her? Did I encourage her? 
• Was I accountable in any, in many, in countless ways, for her choices and wayward wanderings? The resounding question became:
• What role did I play in this woman's downfall? 

I could not be her friend

On the heals of these disturbing musings, came a decision based on a sick feeling: I could not collude. I could not be a contributor to her rantings, her rationalizing, her cheating and self-indulgent ways. I could not be her friend any longer.

Why am I telling you this, dear reader? It is to share this wisdom:

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17)

I did not sit by
I confronted my friend. I pointed out to her that she was engaging in immoral, and reprehensible behaviours. I challenged her thinking and her dangerous activities (these go unmentioned here; suffice it to say she endangered many as she allowed an escalation of emotions to take over her reasoning). 

I did not sit by, saying nothing. This would not be commensurate with the type of friendship I value. As she walked away from truth, I did not hold her hand. I did not commend her to evil ways. I did not: friends do not stand by while people they care about self-destruct, making choices that negatively, long term and often permanently, impact, and or destroy, relationships.

Gratitude
I am grateful. I have so many friends, and not a one of them leaves me the way I am! When I am a dull knife, they become iron and without hesitation, begin sharpening me. Because of my excellent reasoning skills, I have the ability to know what is good for me, and I snap out of stupid mode quickly, when one of my life partners says STOP IT! Wise people heed excellent advice, and I have many a wise whisper in my life. 

I am truly blessed.

A challenge for you

Pinky swear to honesty

Dear one, let us turn our gaze in your direction:

• Do you have a friend that is self destructing, while you stand by and encourage them to feel good about themselves and their choices? 
• Are they fooling around, or neglecting the important people in their life, while you listen and nod your head, buying into their bull crap, about how hard-done-by they are?
• Are you a contributor to the breakdown of a family, because you want to maintain friendship, over challenging your friend to be an accountable and honest person? 
• Are you colluding with another, because to challenge them requires more effort than you, are willing to make? 

Dear reader, make believe stories destroy families and relationships. Recall, my friendship started in truth, and ended with the stench of lies. That is not all that ended. My former friend, her death was sudden and from what I have learned, she was a very lonely, and disturbed person prior to her leaving this world. I couldn't change her mind, or the outcome of her life choices, but I sure did try.

Be iron for someone
Maybe, just maybe, you can be iron for someone? Maybe you can say stop it and they will listen. Maybe you are the only one that they will be able to hear because they trust you, and know that you believe in them still? 

Do something dear one. Take a stand, speak your moral mind, stop the tragedy of doing nothing at all...

We are our brothers and sisters keeper, that is what true friendship is all about