My study Bible became my constant companion, but that does not mean I was sin free, o no, I had a long way to go in my sanctification process, and still do. Over time, I began to learn that compromising my integrity to maintain worldly and secular relationships, was untenable, and a great source of irritation for my soul. Reading The Bible convicts the conscience, and highlights reprehensible thoughts, and closely related behaviours, that are abhorrent to God. Most people will never pick-up a Bible, let alone purposefully make their way through the Good Book, because let us face the facts, most people do not want to stop doing what they are doing... most people, prefer their pet sins, over correction from God omniscient.
I read commentary on The Bible from Matthew Henry. His love for Jesus is so evident that I cannot help wanting to be more like Jesus each time I am educated about scripture. Here is what Matthew Henry has to say on my subject matter, of compromised integrity, from Volume 6, Acts to Revelation, page 375:
... we must love our brethren, but not love them so much as for their sakes to commit any sin, or omit any duty; not think the better of any sin for the sake of the person that commits it, but forsake all the friends of the world, to cleave to God and duty.
Cleaving unto the Lord and being dutiful, includes loving our friends as Jesus loves us. Friends can make choices that are sinful and unsavoury, and when this occurs, it behooves us to communicate that God does not approve or condone their choices. My friend, introduced me to her boyfriend, and gave me an extravagant birthday gift that day, to buy my acceptance and silence. She was having an affair, and justifying it too. She was a mother of two, she was drinking and swearing while driving her children, and talking on the phone with me, and man alive, she was also going to marriage counselling... our mutual love for Jesus and his Word, turned into something I could no longer recognize. Each time she called or wanted an in person visit, my stomach would do summersaults: I felt sick about loving her and at the very same time, being appalled by what she was saying and doing.
I realized that being her friend, and our friendship lasted twelve years, felt like a compromise of my integrity, and that each time she rationalized her behaviours, I was colluding with her choices just by being in her company. She did not want to give up the boyfriend, or the pretending that she was working on her marriage. The woman lost her grip on reality, and every area of her life was soaked in sinful drama and trauma. She died not long ago, and it saddened me to learn of this. Our friendship ended when I told her that speaking to her drained me, but worse yet, she was saying many things that were anti-biblical. She had gone from being a spiritual mentor in the beginning of our friendship, to being an adulterous, drunken, self-justifying sinner, and I literally could not stomach her company or the thought of hearing about her activities.
My former friend, I learned, had some sneaky and slick ways. It is an oddity to me, to have a person direct me to The Word of God, but not abide herself, knowing what is contained there. I guess that is how our individual sin works, isn't that right, dear reader? We know what we ought not say and do, but we override righteousness in favour of sin anyway... Sanctification as I indicated above, is an on going process, and scripture makes it very clear, what is and is not, acceptable in God's sight.
You may feel as though you are compromising your integrity via your own sinful ways, or by accommodating the sins of a family member or friend. Being honest with yourself will go a long way toward rectifying the situation. Ask yourself if you are indeed, running at cross purposes for the health of your soul, by going against the will of God. Sin and shame are best friends. Where there is one, there is the other too: shame will be silenced over time if it is not permitted a voice to condemn sin and encourage repentance. Sin will have its way with a person that invites it in, sups with it regularly, and encourages it to become a house mate.
Cleaving unto the Lord is a choice one must make after salvation. It is humbling to see ourselves as sinners in need of saving, in need of course correcting, in need of rebuke, and even in need of suffering consequences, that are justified for our disobedience. It is in the suffering and sorrow after much compromising of integrity, that we learn who we do not want to be. It is embarrassing when I look back at my sinful choices, and it is a relief to know, that some of the things I engaged in in the past, are no longer appealing to me in the least. God purifies and sanctifies; I reiterate the concept, that sanctification is a life long process, so do be kind to yourself as you follow in the footsteps of the Saviour. You may misstep, or lose the trail periodically, but know that you can confess your sins, recalibrate to Christ, and ask God for help to sin no more. Know too, that God will do a transformative work in you, the closer you stay to him, and the more you read his Word.
I will end with one last thought. It is the duty of each Christian to be Christ like. I will not define this for you, but I will do you the favour my friend of long ago, did for me, by suggesting this: Go to God by going to his Word. Before making your study Bible purchase, pray and ask for guidance. Before reading, make this request:
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