I am relatively new to the term gaslighting and have come to discover it is exactly what narcissistic anti-truth-tellers engage in on the regular. Gaslighting is the quintessential blame game, and works like this:
1 Wicked people get their kicks from psychologically misleading others, followed by;
2 Becoming emboldened when successful, and next up;
3 Blaming the victimized for super stupidity as evidenced by them falling for the ruse, and lastly;
4 We hear the reprobate suggest: "After all, YOU CHOSE! and only have YOURSELF TO BLAME... YOU picked your sick bed, now lie in your own vomit and quit bellyaching. Suck it up buttercup. It's all on you, stop blaming ME."
Lambs to the slaughter are the trusting, those that have not the instinct that sounds warning alarms of danger. The self-selected leadership imposters have managed to finagle their way into homes. Why, I know someone that insisted her child be isolated in her room, and wear a mask when someone came to her door, all under the "suggestion" that came from a frighteningly wicked man by the name of Ford. The power of suggestion, dear reader, only works when someone is susceptible to a spell, or some kind of mesmerizing hypnosis. I think of the on stage chickens, those that could be tricked into clucking on the whim of a masterful hypnotist all for show, all for the entertainment of a viewing audience. Humans becoming poultry, being demeaned without awareness and somehow, willingly so? (I draw from a high school memory, when someone I knew flapped his imaginary wings, and looked to peck at specks of feed on stage after being hypnotized).
That is how gaslighting works: You must have a villain and an unwitting but ready and waiting victim, to play their role of soon to be injured without recourse. Unfortunately, those of us that resist hypnosis, try as we might, cannot rescue the soon to be wounded from the nail sharp grip of the grim reaper that viciously bleeds them to death all the while, condescendingly mocking "It is all your fault, you idiot."
Perhaps those of us that have witnessed this unfolding, felt similarly, as in: It is the fault of the victim for trusting the villain. But none of us could stay in this stance for long, because at one point or another in our lives, we too, have fallen prey to a perpetrator. No matter who you are, you have been ill treated by someone you trusted, and while we are all accountable, the plotters and planners that seek to maim and destroy others, have blood splattered and soaked souls. As much as they feign innocence, they cannot Lady Macbeth "out-damned-spot" what we all see. Blood screams for justice, and no amount of lying can change the facts: evidence can be tampered with, but the truth is immutable.
I hear what gaslighting sounds like all the time from my clients, lovely caring people that are subject to wicked and self-serving family members. I fight hard for them when I hear their stories, and my hope is that they will see themselves, the villain, and the words and actions minus excuse, explanation, obligation, guilt, shame... all the things we humans have to work through to get to the clean and clear cut other side of the lies. It is ONLY truth that makes us free, and actions ALWAYS speak louder than words.
This writers telltale signs of you being gaslit:
● You feel nervous after contact with the gaslighter
● You replay what they said, and wish you had responded differently to them but got tongue tied and felt like a deer in the headlights
● You feel imposed upon in their company
● You feel nervous and insecure after being with them
● You question your choices, decisions, and feel inept and inadequate
● You feel like you have to explain yourself to them all the time, giving them a report
● You get anxious and nervous just thinking about being in their presence
● You do as they say just to have some peace, but feel you have compromised your integrity to please them
● You are afraid of what they will say and do if you say no to their demands
● No matter what you do or say, you can never please them: it is never "enough"
● You think about them constantly, playing out different scenarios on how it can be better, how you can be better, next time you are with them
● You dread being with them, and you hate who you have become
● You are a shadow of yourself, weak, crying, and afraid you will never be happy again
● When away from them, you wish you never had to see or hear from them again
Dear reader, this is not an exhaustive list, and I encourage you to add your own sentiments and experiences with gaslighters, so that you are sharply aware when you are next exposed to someone similar. Rest assured, when a person blames others for their very own shortcomings, insecurities, and missteps, you are dealing with someone that does not suffer pangs of conscience; a person such as this feels no pain when they inflict it upon another, instead, they get a thrill. I have come to this conclusion because no matter how much crying and begging the victim does, the villains behaviour changes not one iota.
I have told many a client to drop naïveté on its ugly fragile fake little head. Killing it once and for all is the only way to know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that we are all accountable for the choices we make and the pain our choices may and do, cause others. When malice lives in the heart of a human, they wreak havoc wherever they go, leaving behind broken and bleeding souls that ache for understanding, compassion, and restoration.
And now, dear one, we find ourselves in the position of being called to the role of listening with understanding and compassion, for the sake of restoration for those that made choices that did not and do not, bode well for their future. We must love them to Christ in their frailness, knowing that we have been loved too, without fail.
1 Corinthians 13:8
Love never fails. but whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
Love, or as the King James Version states, charity, never fails. Let us be charitable to those that trusted not the King of kings, and are now regretting it.
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