Moses and a Big Stick

I wonder about Moses' temperament. Let's focus on the first part of the word in temperament, that being the root word temper. Out of righteous anger, Moses stuck and killed a man that was abusing a Hebrew slave. Unbenounced to Moses at the time, the slave was one of his brethren. When Moses was confronted with his crime, he ran away, in either fear or shame...perhaps a combination of these or something else~my musings are purely conjecture. Fast forward and an older Moses reluctantly takes the role of leader, freeing Gods people from slavery in Eygpt, leading them to the promised land. God works through Moses and God considers him to be a trusted friend. Moses speaks to God and than shepards the people. Many a time, he asked God to refrain from destroying the rebellious Isrealites, the salvaged Hebrews. This speaks to some character and patience development in Moses temperament. Moses does, in the story, get agitated with the grumbling and rumbling of the ingrates who dared to complain and suggest that they faired better in slavery than they were fairing in the dessert with Gods presence and direct provision for all their needs. Moses, despite attacks on his character and the physical threats of angry mobs, continues to endure the abuse and asks God to spare and forgive the people time and again. I grin, because God is God and man is man and our temperaments need taming all the days of our lives. Moses had a temper and it displayed fully when he chose to ignore Gods directive and instead, show his irritation. I can relate to this~I am no Moses AND, I am forever working on my temper and irritation...ok back to Moses now...so the people came to an arid place in the dessert and they began to complain bitterly about the lack of water. Moses went to God to tell him about the people's complaint and to be given instructions. God told Moses to get Aaron's staff and the two of them were told go to the rock, speak to it and water enough would flow from it for the people and their livestock. Moses and his brother went to the rock and with Aaron's staff, he hit the rock twice, rather than speaking to it. Water flowed from the rock, it was Gods gift to the people. Moses, however, got whacked hard with that stick (metaphorically speaking of course). Moses did not follow Gods instructions, he took power that was not his and he abused it, displaying his irritation and anger and perhaps even his authority, a little vain power, with the people. His punishment? He was to die in the dessert with the other transgressors, never to see the promised land. It's a fascinating personality study and I am only telling you about the parts that spoke to where I am weak in character and need some development! God is fair and equitable, he pours out grace on everyone. He also abides by the laws he put into place, the laws of sowing and reaping, consequences for actions, and thank GOD, he is far more patient, slower to anger than mere humans. God is faithful and gives us lots of chances, he is such a great Dad! So, I'm working on speaking about Gods Living Water with patience and understanding and putting my big stick down...what are YOU working on? 

Grace and Matthew Byers

I have heavy on my heart, the pain of emotional orphans. Whether raised with biological parents, single parent, or adopted into family, children's needs are not always met. This means that in adulthood, there is a hole in the soul with slow and steady leakage, pain that is like a low grade fever, not life threatening and yet, it causes undiagnosed discomfort, an edginess in the spirit that manifests in the body and in relationship. It shows up in adults of all stripes and ages, a look at me, I'm cut and bleeding neediness that cannot be allievated with human hands, human intervention. This explains the desire to connect with something, someone greater than ourselves, with a higher view, perspective with horizons as part of landscapes, seeing past the here and now and into what can be, past the pain. Past the pain, over taking the pain, soul and its hollowness filling up rather than the void growing ever larger and gapping, wholeness with wound healing is a distinct possibility.To get there, sometimes fever becomes full on infection, flu, tooth or heart ache, thusly, the dark night of the soul engulfs the suffer with no one and no where to turn, than one must look up and ask, where can I find relief, I beg, from this drenching dark torrent of pain? It can not be escaped, one cannot run and hide, for the darkness follows until in desperation the cry is enough, let me loose, set me free...emotional orphans can be seen and heard and they are filling our streets and houses. My concern is for the children that will one day become emotional orphans and it is for them that my heart hurts because it's not too late, parents listen to your children now and they can be spared. At 48, I am still learning the art of listening and my 18 year old son is teaching me as I clear away my mothering roles and hear what his heart is speaking. It's never to late to love with big ears trained on truth hearing and mouth engaged in truth sharing. I love you Matthew Byers, for forgiving me when I have failed and loving me always no matter what, as your mom. You are my gift from God and grace is, truly amazing. 

Accident That Didn't Happen

I'm behind a city truck and it has recently dug up chunks of concrete strewn and untethered in its cargo area. I recall being in a court room for law class in grade twelve~a truck had untethered steel poles, the driver slammed on the brakes and one of the poles flew through the windshield of the car inbehind and impaled a little girl~she miraculously survived despite the pole going through one of her eye sockets. I have been wary of trucks with loose objects ever since. Now back to my truck story. I'm behind this truck, cautiously following and looking for the first chance to distance myself from it, believing it to be dangerous. There is a slow motion feeling to the whole experience and now we are travelling at almost parallel, with him slightly leading. Suddenly, a pick up truck appears and turns left in front of me. I slam on the brakes, turn my wheel to the right and honk my horn simultaneously, stunned and shocked that he made this turn and that I didn't hit him. He realizes his error and drives at a snails pace (if snails could drive of course) and pulls into the first available resting place, I too, turn into a nearby spot. My hands on the wheel, I glance in his direction, he tentatively lifts an arm and waves, a quiet gesture of oh my, are you ok? I wave back, realize nothing more needs to be exchanged and I back up and drive home. I am so grateful! I am not sure how many times I have prayed my thanks to God when I have narrowly missed hitting a biker, pedestrians or even taken a huge chance by cutting into traffic when waiting would have been prudent~escaping harm and injury for myself and other. If you drive, you know what I am speaking about. How many times have you, have I, been spared without ever being aware of the near perhaps life altering/threatening hit(s)? Today I live to tell the story, thank you God, for this day. 

Contrition

Contrite~this word is an adjective that describes the feeling or expression of remorse at the recognition that one has done wrong. I love this word and it takes me back in time...to Catholism. Catholic-meaning according to the whole or colloquially, universal. When I was a kid, I remember hearing about prayers and acts of contrition. I also remember hearing the phrase shame on you...Catholic and Catholism have changed over the years, with their meanings and definitions adapting to those who employ the words. Catholic guilt is an old and oft joked about human condition, I say this tongue in cheek because for many of those raised as Catholics, guilt presents almost as an affliction. Thus there needs be separation between church and soul and actively seeking Christ rather than religion. I joke that I gave up Catholism for Christianity~one is robotically rote while the other holds forth the promise of a living Saviour by my side and more often in front of me, leading The Way. Many believe in multiple ways to God~Biblically speaking, there is One that shows us The Way to the Father, and He said "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me." If you don't believe in the bible, this will be nonsensical to you, perhaps rediculous and exclusionary. Don't shoot the messenger, I believe and I speak, you get to choose what you believe and speak. Back to contrite~I learned at a young age about God, that He is omnipresent, omnipotent and that He disciplines His children, as any good parent would, to keep them from harming themselves and others. I am grateful for my conscience and even perhaps some of the shame I felt for choices I had made, they helped me look at what I was feeling, thinking and doing and whether or not I needed to cut those things out for my own souls wellbeing. I am grateful for being taught at a young age that I am guilty, accountable and it is up to me to pray prayers of contrition, speak words of regret and remorse, in other words, ask for forgiveness. Sin is a foreign word in this society, no one wants the label sinner and few want to be told the Truth, be held accountable. Contrition, what a wonderful concept, maybe we can bring it back into vogue? Who's with me?

Do It Now

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will~A quote from W. Clement Stone. This guy was pretty wise and captured truth in his sayings. Action is an outbound expression of inner desire~Linda G Byers. I like the suggestion I read about that Stone made when he was facilitating a conference. Do it now, said fifty times before going to sleep and fifty times before getting out of bed. I have been using do it now to increase my urgency to get moving, be more productive. Instead of having regret, I have motivation to do it, whatever it is, now. This do it now message is embedding itself into my pysche and somehow, wasting time isn't as convenient or easy anymore. On the days I have forgotten to say my do it now's, I have caught myself whilst in the midst of putting important things off and quickly said my mantra, releasing in me the desire to accomplish what I said I wanted to. This brings me to a hard truth...when I do it now, it gets done, all of "it", including the not so exciting and often mundane and yet necessary to function items on my to do list. Do it now means forgoing the ease and comfort of procrastination and procrastinations ugly twin, the lie of later as the carrot that dangles ever present in a guilty conscience. The battle of inclinations rages on, as in get it done or procrastinate, the first option feels much better than the second in the long run, with the added bonus of character development and ultimately, in the eyes of others, a reputation for fearless action. Dare to dream, yes, dare to act, YES...Do it now is a yes every time desire becomes an outbound expression through action. What are YOU waiting for, do it NOW!

Do it NOW

When does someone else will do it become I will do it? I find myself in a position of seeing, feeling and knowing that if change is afoot, I am asked somehow to be a part of said change. This is how it all works. If I lived near whales and I saw that the waters they thrive in become polluted, my heart would be inclined to proactive measures, to join in protecting these massive wave makers from what might hurt or kill them. Likewise, if I see something potentially slippery on the floor of the grocery store, I am inclined to pick it up or move it out of the way so that unsuspecting shoppers do not fall prey to slipping, falling and making contact with the hard floor below them. What's in front of me can be a call to action. I remember reading an amazing book called The Bible Code. The stand out question in the book for me is "what will you do to change it?." The question goes to the heart of how will I respond given the information at hand and ultimately, how will the present and those who live in this present moment be impacted by what I will do or will not do? Doing and not doing is the exact same thing, with different outcomes. It boils down to a matter of burning conscious, of unwavering commitment, of faithful following into the deep waters of the unknown for the sake of being a difference maker, change agent, breather of life into the dead spaces that appear to be without hope or oxygen. Lone Stars travel to the dark places because of their love of humanity~they go in without thought or fear for their own emotional, spiritual, physical protection or condition. Sounds heroic, doesn't it? I am aspiring to heroism and while I do, it is being modelled for me by the ones who came before that asked of themselves "what will I do to change it?" So I ask you, what is in front of you, calling you to action? When will you be the somebody you are waiting for to come and fix "it"? You were so designed as to be the one, with your own unique abilities and skills to serve others in whatever capacity you are drawn to~these abilities and skills, they are NOT yours to horde, hide and or disengage from, they are meant to be shared, to edify and grow others. Be somebody, do it now, the world can wait no longer. 

Indignation & Divine Love

I have a real knack for knowing when to be indignant I mean really, I can spot injustice and unfairness miles away, sniff it out and point my finger and say "there it is, a wrong doing". In my younger years, I had a yen for the work of advocate, defence lawyer for the yet to be spoken for, the previously unprotected. My strong freedom fighters voice is loud for the underdog and just the other day I enjoyed a close friend's anger and told her it saved me from being indignant for her. Indignant is defined as: feeling or showing anger or annoyance at what is perceived as unfair treatment. My friend is a giver, she bleeds compassion, mercy and understanding and is self sacrificing in her generosity. If this sounds exhausting, you can bet your bathing suit it is, for her~the people who take advantage of her kind nature have a much easier way, taking what they can and coming back for seconds and thirds, an endless buffet of self service at someone else expense coming right up! Who is at fault, you ask? Where do we place the blame you ponder? Lets say we point at THEIR PARENTS, or perhaps whomever it was that modelled these behaviours. The giver learned to give to the point of bleeding and the taker learned to take to the point of indulgent self satisfaction. Yucky, all of it~it is the stinking fish of manipulation and sick dysfunctional interaction. Now let's bring in some healthy indignation (yes, I am grinning as I say this). Indignation can lead to righteous anger and from there, we can see that boundaries have been crossed, that discord exists and that healthy relationship fences need to be erected. Harmony can only begin when autonomy without fear of being cast aside is secured, in other words, is it safe to say no to you or will you make me pay somehow if I don't do as you wish, ask, DEMAND? I am thinking of many of us, those who grew up with the message that parents know best and who were given little if any wiggle room for personal choice. I am confident that the risk of not pleasing said parent/guardian felt life threatening for some, with disapproval and rejection too hefty a price to pay for rebellion against imposition. The fighter in me stands up for the children in the adults I meet, the ones that need the modelling of healthy limits, limits they get to choose when relating to the people in their lives. So sometimes, I display indignation as though I am the one offended, just for as long as it takes for the ones I love to feel it and express it for themselves. Healthy love needs not be contained, restrained, questioned, it is Pure by its very Love nature and has living and breathing within it the Golden Rule of "so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." Yes, The Bible is quoted here and why not, Divine Love is the best teacher of them all. 

Devils Work

The devils work is abundant and employment is widely offered and available. To sign up for diabolical occupation, you need look no further than opening your mouth and allowing some of those nasty thoughts to flow out in the form of words. I am fluent in crisitism and chasing this down to its root cause, I see judgment lurking in the shadows. This is my battle, the concurring of this taught way of seeing others and the world. I'm not naturally inclined to this disposition and so, my inclination toward joy, affirmation, edifying of others is beginning to reign supreme as each day begins anew and I remember from whenst I came~I am Gods child and my mission is to glorify Him. The devil as enemy whispers wickedness and would have me serve his purposes by repeating his planted hissing, that's part one. Part two is hearing others criticize and joining in, colluding, linking arms in unity against another or others. Jesus' words came to me in a flood to "pray for my enemies". I take this to mean those who unwittlngly mean to drag me into their foray of denigration, the ones who are an enemy to my soul health and might I say, I too have played this role. This is a battle, fought and won with intention and the strength of God, with Jesus as perfect model. He spoke truth with love, I am a work in progress and thankfully, my Abba Father corrects His children. You too, are His~doing His work delivers far more joy than is imaginable.