Today I had an appointment with a hairdresser. For the second time, I waited for her to mix colour in the backroom. The first time, I grew impatient, because I could hear her talking to a colleague in hushed tones. I thought about leaving, after having waited so long, but instead, I rose from the chair, stuck my head through the open doorway, and said, Excuse me for interrupting you, but I need to have my hair done, I have company visiting from Alberta. The hairdresser had her butt up against the counter, mixing bowl in one hand, stirring brush in the other, poised in the air ... her colleague was facing her, and had her back to the door, they looked cozy in the sharing stance and I startled them a bit. The hairdresser immediately came out, and was pleasant, and I thought, she won't do that again, but she did, today, just this morning.
Last time I had my hair done, I stated, You are the quietest hairdresser I have ever met. She replied that talking to clients too much can put her behind schedule. I just thought she hated me and that's why she didn't talk much, but I think she hates clients in general, because I learned she doesn't waste her breath on talking to any of them ... but she and her colleagues, talk a lot, smile at one another a lot, and I observed, the other ladies that work in the shop, barely speak to their clients either. That's a secret code, dear reader, that speaks volumes of disdain. They want money, but don't care one bit for the people they service.
Are you curious about how I handled the situation I found myself in this morning, while I heard her whispering to someone for ten minutes? What would you have done, dear one? How do you handle yourself when someone behaves badly at your time, energy, money expense?
I will tell you what I did ... I recalled the wise words that when accessed, speak instruction to those that are being dismissed without reason: There is no excuse for bad behaviour. I got up from that chair, grabbed my belongings, and went out the door. I suspect it surprised the hairdresser when she finally decided to exit the backroom to provide service to a waiting client, to discover she no longer had said client. She sent me a message, at the twenty minute mark from the start of our appointment, and I shared my perspective and experience of unnecessarily waiting for her while she spoke to someone in the backroom. Her response was weak and she lied, suggesting it was a brief call from a colleague, and some other nonsense, but dear reader, I can tell time and heard her voice, while I waited, and waited, and waited ...
I have made errs as a trainer, as a coach, as a daughter, sister, friend, human being! but I always feel very badly when I have misspoken, or misstepped, because I truly do not want to injure anyone and I always want to make amends. Not so with some, with so many in fact. Blaming someone for something I have done means I believe there is an excuse for bad behaviour, and I know, there really is no good excuse to treat anyone with disregard. This hairdresser either hates herself, her life, her work, or just the clients that sit in her chair, held hostage waiting, because they need a service done and don't want to be "impolite" by asking the service provider to hurry the heck up. That is on her, and I, for one, refuse to accept or excuse, bad behaviour.
I will tell you this; I have left conversations that were one sided, without a backward glance. I have stated, I am bored, when in a group of people, one person makes a show of themselves, never displaying any interest in others and simply, wanting to be in a perpetual spot light ... I have walked out of restaurants after being seated when the wait staff choose not to say hello, or acknowledge me and whomever I am with. I am not a prima donna, or someone that demands attention, in fact I prefer not having too much attention, but, I do so enjoy courtesy, customer service, kindness, and accountability when someone needs to say, That was on me, I am so sorry. I like the expression, Don't ruin a perfectly good apology with an excuse, and I will keep my standards high, not making excuses for myself or anyone else, because we must have high standards, dear reader, otherwise we become slaves to the ugly inelegance that mars the human race.