Sugar

Dear Sugar:

We have been friends for a very long time, haven't we? I remember becoming acquainted with you at a tender young age, and we have spent so much delicious time together since! I have memories of whole days in your company and when I wasn't with you, I have to admit shyly here, that I thought of you, longed for you, and could not wait until we would again, meet and melt into one another. Now that I am sharing, could you please give my regards to your cousin, Chocolate? If it weren't for the two of you supporting me all these years, propping me up when I was feeling down, I just don't know what I would have done...

You always wanted my attention

I have to explain myself to you Sugar. When I gave you up in October, it was because you and I were not really getting along. I mean, it seemed to me, at the time, that you had some kind of unhealthy attachment to me. You were always wanting my attention and when I couldn't see you, you called me incessantly and expected me to just drop everything and come running to your side. I discovered after we had been together, that I couldn't think clearly, I had what seemed like fog in the brain. Concentrating and remembering were challenging and it felt as though... forgive me for this accusation but I must say it... it felt as though... I had been drugged! How could I possibly tell you this when we had been so close and you dear Sugar, had always been so available to me in my deepest and darkest times of need? 

I had to know
We were apart for seventy-six days. I had to know for myself if our relationship stood a chance by us being apart. I think we had what is known as co-dependency, you know, that messed up thing that people do when they aid and abet one another in unhealthy behaviours? I think that was us and I had to find out for myself by leaving you, to see how I felt without you in my life.

I was afraid

Co-dependency is unhealthy, dear Sugar

This is the hard part dear Sugar. I was afraid. I was afraid of what would happen if I let you back in. I thought perhaps, we could handle it, you know, go slow and ease our way back into each others lives? So on December 24th, I made a decision to do a test run and invited you to spend some time with me, over the holidays. I shake my head, because those three days are a blur for me and I have to wonder, if you recall how they played out? We were almost inseparable and and... I hate to say this, but you made everything else taste really bad to me. You left me wanting only you, to the exclusion of many other wonderful experiences and I knew then, what I must tell you now

My life is sweeter, without you
It has been six days since we spent time together. It was hard to be without you, especially on day two, because I remembered only the good times. Today, you are a fading memory and I know that my life is sweeter, without you. I can think straight, I feel motivated, my memory is working and I don't miss you, not like I used to. You were like an addiction and I used to think, I can give Sugar up anytime I want to. The problem wasn't you Sugar, it was me... I just never wanted to give you up, until now. 

Dear Sugar
So this is a dear Sugar letter... because I must say goodbye. It may not be forever because I can only live one day at a time. I hope you understand how much I appreciate what you have meant to me and the time we spent happily together, but it is time for me, to say adieu and wish you well. My hope is that you do not become bitter with my departure. 

P.S: Please give my regards to your distance relative, Dark Chocolate.